Priorities are hard. Expectations are harder. Social narratives tell us that things have to be a certain way, and we have to feel and see and do things a certain way in order to be successful- to be happy and fulfilled. To complicate things further, there is not just one narrative that tells us what we “should” do, but each of us has many conflicting narratives. There’s family, the people you work with, friends, culture and country, religion, and your own perception. None of these are bad. These are usually really, really good. The trick comes when these narratives and expectations rub and bump up against each other. The grey area of life.
But maybe this grey area is where the adventure happens.
I like to plan things. I like to know when and where and how things are happening. It helps me feel like I have at least some control over my own life, and that brings me some comfort. Unfortunately for planners like moi, life thinks it’s funny to be mysterious sometimes. It likes to make us squirm. It’s rude, really. But maybe this is when we learn to live in the grey area. Maybe this is when we have to trust God the most and accept some ambiguity in our lives.
At the end of the day, this grey area helps us to be a whole person. We are given the opportunity to grow in ways which make us uncomfortable, and this gives us depth. Wading through the marshes of conflicting expectations, priorities, views, dreams, and realities can be unpleasant (to put it nicely), but it helps us make progress. It helps us get to where we need to be, even if it feels like it takes us the longest, most convoluted route possible. At the end of the day, we can look back and see that God knew what He was doing. He always does.